The Past

Why is it that we go through experiences that we are meant to learn and grow from and then just let them hold us back later in life? When it comes to love we hold on to so much... is that because we dont want to be okay with giving up on the past relationship? Is it because we have a innate need to feel the rejection we went through was not because of us and if we get the past back we will know we were not being rejected? Is it beacuse we think it is not okay to allow ourselves to have those feelings for someone else and be happy, or is it simply that the new situtaion we are in is not what Heavenly Father wants for us?
I have gone through a lot of heart ache over the past year, thinking I had what was right, what was complete happiness and peace for me and then loosing it. I felt so sure that it was right and then it was gone. I dont regret the experience at all because I think that not every one ever gets to be that happy during their lives and I was blessed with the chance to have it for a moment. I have since realized that what I felt wiht this person in all reality had and has no chance of working out, in fact we would drive each other crazy, then why in my new relationships do I hold onto so much of the past and not just let the relationship grow and develop. I am scared of not being able to trust my own feelings. I think it is ironic that when we have expereiences good or bad and we try to better ourselves from them, that sometimes all we do is wind up huring ourselves more because we cant let go of the idea of them and let ourselves see what the next new adventure brings weither it is something that will work out or it is something that we will have another life lesson from. This is exactally why singlehood has its benifits, no need to worry about and stress over any of this stuff when you are not in a relationship. Then again there is nothing more gratifying or rewarding than discovering who we are, who someone else is and being able to share that with each other.

Excittment

I am so excitted today. This weekend I went and got my buisness license for my new company named " Time Makers" it is a service company for working families which helps them with every day errands. This will help make the time they do have with their children quality time. I hired my first employee today and we start on wenesday. The first thing I am doing is going into schools and offering hair cuts to the children while they are at school or day care. Then I will go from there. The problem is I need a logo and I am not artistically creative. Any ideas from anyone would be a great help!
On another note I should prob. tell you all that I am dating someone new. We have been dating only a few weeks and who knows where it will go, but I will say... it is fun, we treat each other great and I know he makes me not only want to be better but to actually be better. I cant speak for him but I hope I have the same effect on him. I dont know what it is about tall guys with my family, first Kim with Drew and now me with Cliff who is 6ft 9! We are working on "just being" and anyone who knows me knows that is my new life motto. You know I realize more and more every day... there are hard times in life, but its the hard that makes you great. It makes all the good times even better!

Its about time

Wow it has been awhile since I have written and am getting some comment from my family so I better get something up. I am just not sure what to write about... I could thank my family for all their help with helping me to raise money for the triathalon and I let them know I am in the top 5 fundraisers currently due to their help.
I could tell you all about the amazing time I had this past weekend at Seven Springs, PA. with 4 good friends. I love catching up with old friends. My friend Natalie came to town for seven springs and we had such a good time. I really admire her for always wanting to serve everyone! She is a inspiration to me.
DO you ever just want to take the great things that you see in your friends and family and figure out a way to just let everyone feel the goodness that comes from those qualities. I am so blessed to have met and continue to meet such amazing people.I look at my old friends, new ones and family members and it is so evident to me that it really is true.... we really are all children of God. Just like we inherit so many qualities from our earthly parents we each have inherited Heavenly Fathers qualities. It is up to us to decide if we are going to live up to them or not. I tell you what, He has allowed me to meet and have as a part of my life people who definitially try to live the lives He wants for them. It amazes me how one person can do one thing and it can affect someone so much, more than the person who did the act could ever know. Im not sure why I went off on that, it is 11pm and I have been up for 29 hours all except the 2 one hour naps I had. You all know how I get when I am tired.... chatty and cuddly but since I am working I will have to stick with the chattiness. I guess the whole point of tonights writting is to say thanks to everyone in my life who is such a example and for each trying in their own way to live up to Heavenly Fathers will for them and to say that the little things you do dont go unnoticed.