The trip

Well we just got back from our adventures this weekend. Cliff and I got on the plane at 6 am. We wanted me to be suprised so we were seing how far we could get without me finding out where we were going. I had on noide reduction headphones and he checked us in, carried the tickets through security and made sure everyone we came to knew not to say the destination out loud. We went to JFK to transfer planes. At one point I saw a sign that said long beach, so I thought maybe that is where we were going. We were on the plane and Cliff told me where we were going, or at least where he had me believing we were going. He said that we were flying into pheonix to get the rental car, then going to tiawana and staying on the beach in a over the water bungalo (which he knows is my dream to stay in one of those for my honeymoon, but in Tahiti). Then we were going to go drive up the california coast to a bed and breakfast in wine country, which I thought was wierd since neither of us drink. He made sure he said that we woudl just swoosh the wine around in our mouths then spit it out. LOL. Then we would head back to Pheonix stop and meet his family for a little bit and head home. THat story lasted until I started saying well arnt we going to stop and see your famiy when we get there to begin with? DOnt you want to see your dogs ext. His reply "babe this is your weekend so if you want to we can but it is all about you this weekend" Yeah I know I am dating a sales man.
So then he slipped and said something about "when we get to my parent house". I caught him, he covered it up, then when we got to phoenix he said just kidding we really are not doing that stuff. After I got over my disapointment for the bungalo I was excitted to find out what we were doing. First we went to his parents and got settled in, that is where we stayed the whole trip. We then went to the lake where his family had a BBQ for me. We swam in the water and had a great time. Later that night we just relazed and I had a chance to spend some one on one time with his father then his mother, then his sister. It was great to get to know them and see how well we all related. During the converstanion with his sister we were talking about how the innocence and the way we view the world is changing due to the happenings in the world. We talked about how great it would be if we could trust other people enough to live in a world with the innocence and "rose colored glasses" while knowing at the same time they will not decive or take advantage of us. I said to her that I felt like I could live in a world like that with Cliff. As soon as I said it I got goose bumps all over and almost started crying. It was so wierd! I never feel emotions to that extent. Now dont get me wrong I know that Cliff is far from perfect, but I also know that he wears who he is on his sleeves.. the great, the good and the bad. THe he is who he is and that he is not going to decieve you into beliving otherwise. (that is unless he is trying to give you a suprise weekend)
It was so great to have that experience and feel that complete level of trust for him, esp. since my track record when it comes to trusting guys is not very strong.
His dad is 81 and is up and down with his health so it was great to chat with him and get to know who he is. I see a lot of Cliff in him. HIs mom is just the nicest women you could meet. Just wanting to give the shirt off her back to anyone. She is so dedicated to the gospel and is open with her children about everything. ANyway Sat was kind of low key, Cliff wanted to bring me over to a house his parents want to give to us to fix up and live in. It is the house he grew up in and he wanted to see if I thought I could see myself there. It was great, so fun. It is a 4 or 5 bedroom, one level home with a pool. Has a lot of work but would be really fun to get set up. He is allergic to my cats so he showed me where he would build the airconditioned cat house attached to the house. Then we drove around a little and checked the area out. The off to get ready for a concert in Tuscon. His sister was going to go down with us but got deathly ill so we all cuddled with her in her bed for a little bit and then off to the concert. WE ended up missing the concert so we just went to a movie and had a great time spending time together. WE didnt get home until 3 am which is 6 am here. Needless to say getting up for church the next mornign was not that easy. We did it and had a great time. Later that day we had a talk with his mom about him and I getting married. It was great to have a up front and honest conversation about it with his mom. She had some great insight. I really connected with all of them. Later they made me a special birthday dinner, and gave me presents. Then later that night we headed to the airport for a midnight flight home. Though I thought it was going to be a good one on one weekend with Cliff and I it ended up being great and exactally what we both needed. We both felt so great seing how well we all got along, I felt great seing what potentially the next stage in my life will be, and we both agreed how great it is that we can "just be" around each other. His sister commented over and over again how great it is to see him being able to just be himself, to joke around, wrestle, laugh, show his real side. She kept saying how that is not a common thing, the level of confort we have with each other. I feel so confortable with him and didnt necessarly have that "aghhh I am so in love I could dance on the clouds feeling". I was looking for that but I think I realized this weekend, that is not reality, having someone you can see each others good and bad, you can laugh with , you can debate with and come to mututal compromises with, someone you are so confortable with that you can tell them you need them to just take care of you cuz u have cramps, someone you can see serving others all the time, that is reality. WEll it is my reality with Cliff anyway. Who knows if that is how it is supposed to be but really I dont care how it is supposed to be as long as Heavenly Father okays it and we both continue to feel the way we do. He is not Mr. Chilvery, but I love the fact that when something happens I am not afraid to say "honey, my bags need you to carry them, or the water in the fridge wants you to bring it to me". I love that he wants me to tell him the things I think he should do, if he has not learned yet what I like. He told me the other day that he does not want me to adjust to how he shows me his love, he wants me to show him how I feel love so he can show me in the way i see it. When I tell him or show him, you better believe he gets it and does it every time after. That tells me his level of dedication and teachs me a lot about how to have a mature love and not a "well he should just know" attitude on love. ANyway enought rambeling I so should go to bed. Thanks for the concern you all had for me while I was away. Sorry if I worried you, Cliff did call to tell Denise where we were right when we got there and give a phone number but I guess I should have done more. Is this really happening? Am I really headed down this new path in my life? Either way it was worth the wait and is worth every step I am on this path, even if it is only temporarlily.