So I have decided that every week I will write a update when i am doing my awake overnight shift. It may be a little rambly, since I get that way when I am tired, who am I kidding I am always a little rambly.
There are so many things going on in my life right now! Lets see.... it is 2 weeks from my olympic triathalon and all I can say is I AM SO TIRED OF TRAINING! I love working out, but just not in the mood to "train". I have managed to get my man into spinning classes though and he loves them! Well wait til I take him to an non beginer one, he may not be so excitted. Of course he does not know he was in a beginer one so shhhh (Dont worry he will not ever see this, that would reguire reading my blog). I have decided though that no matter what when I do the tri... I will not walk. I have to finish the race with all running so I feel like I really did it. Okay I say that on here but come the 14th that may be a different story.
Thanks to everyone who helped me raise the money for it!
Now onto boys... I mean men. I sound like such a teenager writting on her about them but the fact is, in that department, it is where I am in life. I have been going back and forth a lot over the past 4 months on weither I should be with my current boyfriend or not. We have both debated it a lot. We have a blast together, respect each other, and just enjoy what we have. We went on a trip to atlantic city for his birthday and that weekend is when we realized how great what we have really is. I suprised him for the trip. Made him wear a blind fold all the way, yeah he was real excitted about that! The first night we went to a concert we had both wanted to hear. Well we got there, they only sang one song we knew and we could not sing along so we joked a little and left. We stayed at this old old old hotel, the elevator had to be run by a operator and the bathrooms were shared in the hallway! It actually was a great place. The next morning we went for a run then off for his next surpise... a day at the day spa! It was so great we both had massages and he had a facial. When he came out from his facial he was so at ease and so excitted, all day he could not stop saying " I have the best girlfriend in the world". We both were in this total state of relaxation. After swimming in the pools we went to check into our nice hotel for the night. It was so fun. All decorated in 70's retro which he loves. I didnt know that but he thought I did and kept saying wow you know me so well. lol. So then I gave him his present. It was a book I had made about him, his favorite topic. :) We rode bikes on the boardwalk and just had a great time. We both kept saying how it felt like we were on a honeymoon, without some of the perks of the honeymoon.
So since that time we have been stuck together like glue. i mean we have our ups and downs, in fact we got in a fight this morning, we drive each other crazy and at the same time adore each other and the things that drive us crazy fade pretty quick.
The sad thing is that he leaves in 14 days to go back to Arizonia. He extended to spend more time, but that time is coming to a end. He might stay for a little bit and he has already gotten me a ticket to Utah the first week of Oct. to go to a company party with him. So now the question... what happens now. I prayed about it the other day thinking that I was going to definitially get a "it is not right" answer like I usually do when I pray about boys. Well to my suprise I did not get that answer. Im not sure what will happen between us, but getting that feeling I got when I prayed sure helped me see how scared i was all these years to open myself up. I had no idea the walls I have up. Anyway, we have been looking at places in AZ for me to move to and looking at opportunities for jobs. Nothing serious just looking. I have always wanted to live there so why not. Oh course he would have to get past my dad and my guy friends test before anything could happen.
So there are my ramblings for the night. I know it was long but Ive got all night to stay awake and need something to do. DO you blame me?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I forgot my password
OOOPs It has been a while but I really did have a good excuse. I forgot my password until right now. LIfe has been so busy and great lately. I dont have much time to write this minute but I will give a brief overview. I did my first sprint triathalon on august 3rd. It was well we will just say.... hell. LOL . No really I did it thinking it would be so easy and that I just wanted to do it to learn the feel of the race. Oh it was anythign but easy. I had a goal to do it in 2 hours and ended up doing it in 2 hours and 8 minutes. I found out the other day what place I came in. It is kinda funny but yes you are reading a posting from the triathlete who came in number 796! I know but it was out of 1600 so for my first it was not so shabby.
I will get back to you later with more details. Hope all is well!
I will get back to you later with more details. Hope all is well!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Busy lives
Man oh man has life been busy lately. It is a good busy work, triathalon, dating, trying to rediscover my spiritual connection with God and trying to fit in as many quick trips as I can this summer. I was excitted to find out my nephews and sister were in town over the 4th of July. I was able to spend some time with them and reconnect with my nephew. We shared some laughs and good times. I will post pics after I get off my 35 hour work shift and have a chance to get them off my computer. Wow this weekend will be crazy. I worked today from 6:45 - 3:45 at my school then my 2nd job 4-10 then another home overnight shift from 10:15-8am. THen physical therapy at 8:20am back to my school 9:15 - 6:15 then I am ready to play for the night and go to a friends pool party. THen up at 7 for triathalon training, off to a picnic for the families at my school by 11 til 1. THen im going to do a mini triathalon and try to sleep a little before work at 10pm until 10am. Then sleep for 2 hours and off to church. That is what I consider a weekend. LOL It really is great things and fun things just time consuming. I dont know what I would do if I only had one job. OKay can you tell I am tired. I just rambled about nothing forever. This posting will definitially not be considered one of my "deep" posts. Oh I forgot to tell you how excitted I am to have a new niece! It is sad she is so far and that Kim is so far so we cannot help her but Kim is amazing me in how well she is doing as a mom. She has jumped right in and is loving it. I have always admired Kim and this just adds to my reasons why.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Past
Why is it that we go through experiences that we are meant to learn and grow from and then just let them hold us back later in life? When it comes to love we hold on to so much... is that because we dont want to be okay with giving up on the past relationship? Is it because we have a innate need to feel the rejection we went through was not because of us and if we get the past back we will know we were not being rejected? Is it beacuse we think it is not okay to allow ourselves to have those feelings for someone else and be happy, or is it simply that the new situtaion we are in is not what Heavenly Father wants for us?
I have gone through a lot of heart ache over the past year, thinking I had what was right, what was complete happiness and peace for me and then loosing it. I felt so sure that it was right and then it was gone. I dont regret the experience at all because I think that not every one ever gets to be that happy during their lives and I was blessed with the chance to have it for a moment. I have since realized that what I felt wiht this person in all reality had and has no chance of working out, in fact we would drive each other crazy, then why in my new relationships do I hold onto so much of the past and not just let the relationship grow and develop. I am scared of not being able to trust my own feelings. I think it is ironic that when we have expereiences good or bad and we try to better ourselves from them, that sometimes all we do is wind up huring ourselves more because we cant let go of the idea of them and let ourselves see what the next new adventure brings weither it is something that will work out or it is something that we will have another life lesson from. This is exactally why singlehood has its benifits, no need to worry about and stress over any of this stuff when you are not in a relationship. Then again there is nothing more gratifying or rewarding than discovering who we are, who someone else is and being able to share that with each other.
I have gone through a lot of heart ache over the past year, thinking I had what was right, what was complete happiness and peace for me and then loosing it. I felt so sure that it was right and then it was gone. I dont regret the experience at all because I think that not every one ever gets to be that happy during their lives and I was blessed with the chance to have it for a moment. I have since realized that what I felt wiht this person in all reality had and has no chance of working out, in fact we would drive each other crazy, then why in my new relationships do I hold onto so much of the past and not just let the relationship grow and develop. I am scared of not being able to trust my own feelings. I think it is ironic that when we have expereiences good or bad and we try to better ourselves from them, that sometimes all we do is wind up huring ourselves more because we cant let go of the idea of them and let ourselves see what the next new adventure brings weither it is something that will work out or it is something that we will have another life lesson from. This is exactally why singlehood has its benifits, no need to worry about and stress over any of this stuff when you are not in a relationship. Then again there is nothing more gratifying or rewarding than discovering who we are, who someone else is and being able to share that with each other.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Excittment
I am so excitted today. This weekend I went and got my buisness license for my new company named " Time Makers" it is a service company for working families which helps them with every day errands. This will help make the time they do have with their children quality time. I hired my first employee today and we start on wenesday. The first thing I am doing is going into schools and offering hair cuts to the children while they are at school or day care. Then I will go from there. The problem is I need a logo and I am not artistically creative. Any ideas from anyone would be a great help!
On another note I should prob. tell you all that I am dating someone new. We have been dating only a few weeks and who knows where it will go, but I will say... it is fun, we treat each other great and I know he makes me not only want to be better but to actually be better. I cant speak for him but I hope I have the same effect on him. I dont know what it is about tall guys with my family, first Kim with Drew and now me with Cliff who is 6ft 9! We are working on "just being" and anyone who knows me knows that is my new life motto. You know I realize more and more every day... there are hard times in life, but its the hard that makes you great. It makes all the good times even better!
On another note I should prob. tell you all that I am dating someone new. We have been dating only a few weeks and who knows where it will go, but I will say... it is fun, we treat each other great and I know he makes me not only want to be better but to actually be better. I cant speak for him but I hope I have the same effect on him. I dont know what it is about tall guys with my family, first Kim with Drew and now me with Cliff who is 6ft 9! We are working on "just being" and anyone who knows me knows that is my new life motto. You know I realize more and more every day... there are hard times in life, but its the hard that makes you great. It makes all the good times even better!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Its about time
Wow it has been awhile since I have written and am getting some comment from my family so I better get something up. I am just not sure what to write about... I could thank my family for all their help with helping me to raise money for the triathalon and I let them know I am in the top 5 fundraisers currently due to their help.
I could tell you all about the amazing time I had this past weekend at Seven Springs, PA. with 4 good friends. I love catching up with old friends. My friend Natalie came to town for seven springs and we had such a good time. I really admire her for always wanting to serve everyone! She is a inspiration to me.
DO you ever just want to take the great things that you see in your friends and family and figure out a way to just let everyone feel the goodness that comes from those qualities. I am so blessed to have met and continue to meet such amazing people.I look at my old friends, new ones and family members and it is so evident to me that it really is true.... we really are all children of God. Just like we inherit so many qualities from our earthly parents we each have inherited Heavenly Fathers qualities. It is up to us to decide if we are going to live up to them or not. I tell you what, He has allowed me to meet and have as a part of my life people who definitially try to live the lives He wants for them. It amazes me how one person can do one thing and it can affect someone so much, more than the person who did the act could ever know. Im not sure why I went off on that, it is 11pm and I have been up for 29 hours all except the 2 one hour naps I had. You all know how I get when I am tired.... chatty and cuddly but since I am working I will have to stick with the chattiness. I guess the whole point of tonights writting is to say thanks to everyone in my life who is such a example and for each trying in their own way to live up to Heavenly Fathers will for them and to say that the little things you do dont go unnoticed.
I could tell you all about the amazing time I had this past weekend at Seven Springs, PA. with 4 good friends. I love catching up with old friends. My friend Natalie came to town for seven springs and we had such a good time. I really admire her for always wanting to serve everyone! She is a inspiration to me.
DO you ever just want to take the great things that you see in your friends and family and figure out a way to just let everyone feel the goodness that comes from those qualities. I am so blessed to have met and continue to meet such amazing people.I look at my old friends, new ones and family members and it is so evident to me that it really is true.... we really are all children of God. Just like we inherit so many qualities from our earthly parents we each have inherited Heavenly Fathers qualities. It is up to us to decide if we are going to live up to them or not. I tell you what, He has allowed me to meet and have as a part of my life people who definitially try to live the lives He wants for them. It amazes me how one person can do one thing and it can affect someone so much, more than the person who did the act could ever know. Im not sure why I went off on that, it is 11pm and I have been up for 29 hours all except the 2 one hour naps I had. You all know how I get when I am tired.... chatty and cuddly but since I am working I will have to stick with the chattiness. I guess the whole point of tonights writting is to say thanks to everyone in my life who is such a example and for each trying in their own way to live up to Heavenly Fathers will for them and to say that the little things you do dont go unnoticed.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Relief Days
Every once in a while we all have those days that I think are a way of Heavenly Father just giving us a whole day of peace and happiness. You know, one of those days where the sun is shining and it seems to get to the core of your spirit and just gives you a relief from the every day stresses we each have.
This morning I had my first group run for the triathlon. Ever since I started gaining weight when I was young I have been scared of playing sports or exercising in front of anyone. I have never been running with people around before and still carry that feeling from before I lost the weight. Well I had convinced myself, which was not hard, that I was not going to go to the run trainings until I got better on my own, I didn't want to be the last one and to look completely out of shape compared to everyone else. I have been doubting my abilities over the past few days and have even wondered if doing a triathlon is right for me. Well I decided that if I did not go today I would continue to have excuses. So I did it and LOVED IT! I ran in the level 1 group which is the easiest of the 3 groups but I did come in first in the group. I didn't care what I came in just as long as it was not last! I chatted with another team member the whole run and it really went by fast for me. Then off to work where I was able to spend some time with the ladies I work with in Baltimore, then when we came home I wheeled one of the ladies who I have a great connection with, outside in her wheelchair. She sat in her wheel chair listening to my mp3 while I sat next to her reading a church book. She reached out her hand for me to hold it and we sat in the nice weather not talking but just enjoying the beautiful day Heavenly Father had given us and enjoying what could be one of our last times together, due to her health. Thanks Heavenly Father for today and I cant wait for the next one!
This morning I had my first group run for the triathlon. Ever since I started gaining weight when I was young I have been scared of playing sports or exercising in front of anyone. I have never been running with people around before and still carry that feeling from before I lost the weight. Well I had convinced myself, which was not hard, that I was not going to go to the run trainings until I got better on my own, I didn't want to be the last one and to look completely out of shape compared to everyone else. I have been doubting my abilities over the past few days and have even wondered if doing a triathlon is right for me. Well I decided that if I did not go today I would continue to have excuses. So I did it and LOVED IT! I ran in the level 1 group which is the easiest of the 3 groups but I did come in first in the group. I didn't care what I came in just as long as it was not last! I chatted with another team member the whole run and it really went by fast for me. Then off to work where I was able to spend some time with the ladies I work with in Baltimore, then when we came home I wheeled one of the ladies who I have a great connection with, outside in her wheelchair. She sat in her wheel chair listening to my mp3 while I sat next to her reading a church book. She reached out her hand for me to hold it and we sat in the nice weather not talking but just enjoying the beautiful day Heavenly Father had given us and enjoying what could be one of our last times together, due to her health. Thanks Heavenly Father for today and I cant wait for the next one!
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